Selfcare as it is currently framed

Selfcare has often been framed as an individual act, done in isolation, etc. but for Black women, reclaiming and decolonizing selfcare must move beyond the personal-it must include community care. Rooted in our ancestral traditions, rituals, etc., community care amplifies mutual support, collective healing, and the understanding that our wellbeing is interconnected. There is a clear “knowing” that all life is connected and the health and welling of the earth is also part of that circle of care.

A deeper dive on context

Much of what’s promoted in media, is neither accessible nor helpful for black women or Black people as a collective. What’s currently being touted as selfcare, is at best, a colonial imperialist collection of indigenous practices and rituals that have been stripped of their original purpose and context. It lacks the ancient cultural and spiritual components that have been passed down within these communities for generations for centuries. In short, it erases the necessary deep pathways needed to access these traditional healing modalities and rituals. It’s an insidious violence that potentially leads to more trauma and, frustration and burnout as many Black women try to access a version of “selfcare” that is harmful and designed to exclude or marginalize them further.

With that in mind, here are two simple but powerful ways to practice community care as an important part of your selfcare journey.

Building a healing circle and engaging in acts of reciprocity (holding space for one another)

1. Build and Nuture a Healing Circle

A healing circle is a space where you and a group of trusted women can come together to share experiences, provide emotional support, and practice collective healing. For Black women, these circles can serve as sacred spaces to process challenges, celebrate wins, and affirm one another in a world that often overlooks our unique experiences.

How to Create a Healing Circle:

• Start small: Invite a few close friends or family members to gather regularly. This could be done in person or virtually.

• Set intentions: Define or lay out the purpose of the circle and set guidelines-whether it’s to share resources, uplift each other, or simply hold space for each other.

• Incorporate Ancestral Practices: Include rituals like affirmations, meditation, lighting candles etc., to honor your collective energy and roots.

Why it’s important:

Healing circles help to create a sense of belonging or connection and reminds you that you are not alone on your journey. Also, they give a collective strength needed to confront both societal and systemic stressors in a way that enables us to empower each other.

2. Engage in Acs of Reciprocity

Reciprocity-giving and receiving support-is foundational to community care. It’s about showing up for others while also allowing them to show up for you. Small, intentional act of reciprocity can build stronger community bonds and contribute to collective wellbeing. Every time we engage in this we also create a communal sense of both safety and trust, which in turn adds another layer of healing and nourishment.

Simple Ways to Practice Reciprocity:

• Offer help: Support a friend with a meal, childcare, or simply listening to them.

• Receive Help: Dump the super woman cape! Allow others to support. You without guilt, recognizing that mutual care or aid strengthens relationships.

• Share Resources: Pass along books, articles, or wellness tools that have been helpful or useful to you. This can include financial resources if someone is in need.

Why This Matters:

Reciprocity dismantles the idea of selfcare as an isolated endeavor and instead amplifies the power of interconnectedness. Also, it reinforces the values oof mutual aid that have always been central to Black community traditions and rituals.

My Final Thoughts:

Community care is foundational to selfcare for Black women because it helps us to liberate us from many of the harmful impacts of the colonized version of “selfcare” that’s being sold to our community. It makes money for oligarchs and multinational corporations, but does nothing for us as a people.

Resources to help you on your journey

• The Nap Ministry, emphasizes rest and care as a revolutionary act.

• Black Girl in Om, provides inspiration for creating intentional, healing spaces for Black women.

• Healing Justice Practice Space, a space for community healing initiatives.

• Rest Is Sacred by Octavia Raheem, a compelling inspirational and healing guide for reclaiming and decolonizing rest as a sacred practice.